Shetani Alishindwa

Have I ever told you guys what a religious, educated and hardworking Mother I have? And in this case we're talking Philosophic-educated? The woman holds a Master's Degree in Linguistics y'all. She's a walking Webster. A school principal and a part-time lecturer. 

So anyway, last week Mum called at around seven a.m. and after I said amid laughter that she sounded like Dad, she had to explain that she had caught the most explosive, awful flu infection that has ever been suffered by a human person at any time in the history of the world. And since I was at work early, she asked that I do a little research on some historical-comparative lecture thingy she had at 10.a.m.

So there I was, sitting at my desk, intellectually getting deep insight into the history of Language in West Africa and waiting for Mum to get to the cyber and hand over the phone to the techie who was to print the jargon for her. Then my phone rang. And I saw it was Mum, so I answered. It was a man's voice. And I asked that he spell out his email address. Instead, said man, said that Mum had been involved in a car accident. And hang up.

I was immediately, have-to-stand-from-chair panicked and who calls with such terrible news and scanty information? My head was now filled with images of Mum sneezing and the windscreen blowing out with the gale force of her projection, and shocking the driver off the road.

So I redialed but before I could figure out just how, exactly, snot forces you to wreck a vehicle, Mum answered and this is what occurred:

Mum: Eloo

Self: Mum! Are you okay?

Mum: [Sniff] I wad id ad assidend!

Self: I know! Are you okay?

Mum: I tink so. I wad ID AD ASSIDEND.

Self: I'm sorry Mum! Are you hurt?

Mum: Wiar guing do hospido.

Self: Oh my God Mum, give the driver the phone!

Driver: Hel--?

Self: What happened? Is mum okay? To which hospital are you going? Have you called Dad?

Driver: Not yet, you were the last dialed number. The driver of the Taxi she was in lost control of the vehicle and it rolled. Now we ar--

Self: Whaat?--I--Oh My God! Whaat?--Where are you now? I'm calling you back.

(Slowly sitting down, Misty Eyes, Shaky hands, Dialing)

Self: DAAD! MUM HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT!

Dad: Yes, I'm almost there, who called you?

Self: You know? Who called you?

Dad: She's going to be Okay Kawee. Let me call you when I get there.

Self: DAA--

Dad: (Dial tone)

And he hang up. Tears immediately started flowing and I walked up to my boss all monster-red-eyed and uninvited, sat down. Then got utterly shocked that I lost all ability to speak. Seriously, I couldn't utter the words to say that Mum was involved in an accident. So I twisted my neck to one side and wrote him a note on some colored sticky note. To which he asked if I had someone to drive me home. I nodded and he said he'd call later.

I then absentmindedly walked to the basement unsure of where or what I was supposed to do next. So I called DK and my brothers who, through the Science of Information Transmission already knew and were calmly waiting for my call. Apparently Dad had been called by an eyewitness and he called everyone else but me.

Mum went into shock for about four hours. Thankfully, she had not a single scratch. 

Here's a picture of the wrecked car.

Shetani alishindwa.