Happy VD!

First of all, I am alive. Not dead, Yet.


Happy Valentine's Day! Or, Happy Singles Awareness Day! Whichever applies to you. As it happens, am celebrating the former. *hi Singles!*

I, sometimes have weird days at work. Because.

My colleague, who we call Colleague1 in this entry, is fond of telling very weird stories, like yesterday, he was telling of how he goes to the bathroom whenever a lady-friend calls and he happens to be in the sitting room with his wife and kids and at this point, we all tried to look busy to not listen to the remaining part but he is not the type to be ignored, so, he calls you by name and insists that you really should hear the end (he is 52!) and now his youngest son, who he suspects knows his game, comes knocking on the door insisting that he urgently needs to pee (I know, I didn't feel like imagining it too) and that he wants to play a certain Snake Game on his daddy's phone and can you even believe this whole paragraph is one sentence? 

So, today, colleague1 swears that he knows fishermen don't possess finger-tips and toes! Please tell me you also think he's weird?

This guy comes to the office, asks colleague2 for a pen, scribbles a message to be passed to another colleague and gives back colleague2's pen. The following conversation is pretty much what ensued.

Colleague2: Where's the lid?
Client: It wasn't there when you gave me the pen.
Colleague2: The lid was there. I can't use a pen without a lid.
Client: Well, you've given me the pen less than two minutes ago and I haven't really moved.
Colleague2: So, you think am lying?
Client: I didn't say that, I just haven't seen your lid!
Colleague2 (to colleague1): I assist people with my pen and this is what they do to me?
Colleague1: Did you say you can't use a pen without a lid?
Colleague2: Yes, and he can take the pen with him too. It's no longer any use to me.
Colleague1: When was the last time you saw your pen?
Colleague2: Are you interrogating me? Or do you also think am lying?
Colleague1: No, am just saying your lid could have been swallowed by the fish that cuts off fingertips!

(very wrong time for that joke and since I have no control over who reads this, I will save the insults that followed, which would have otherwise been directed to the client.)

And, this, is where I come when I say am off to work.

SO, in honor of St. Valentines, the bright, warm theme of the day and the amounts of alcohol patiently awaiting consumption, I wish you a very RED day. Oh, and you really need your fingertips in place.