31 YEARS LATER

SO. Know how DK and I got all married? Remember that? It was very nice, and everyone had a lovely time, and now we are husband and wife. And this week, our little family celebrated its first family tradition.

DK's birthday. Because, people? THIS IS HOW FAMILY TRADITIONS BEGIN. Yes. I have figured it out.

A year ago, (woo, tangent) my then...uhh, oh. A year ago, DK, and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. Wait a minute. We looped from boyfriend to fiance to husband in a year? No, shut up. We are not having this conversation.

Still, also remember how I surprised DK with the love of his life for his 30th birthday? Because I am a nerd and also obsessed with getting people timeless birthday gifts? Even people who do not care TO REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY? Although, this really, realllly, gets to me. And I want to skin them alive. And want to use their skulls as soup bowls. 

But also, because I was a smart, loving and thoughtful girlfriend?

 

Only that, see: (and here is where I try to blame my own personal mistakes on my poor, long-suffering husband; let's watch!) the past one year has proved that that, is not entirely true. Because; let me tell you something about this, you guys: Pianos are addictive. They are crack for people who like music and G-clefs and stuff, and yes, it is a dorky addiction, but holy lord. If you peep through our keyhole on a Saturday, this is what you will most likely see:

So, sadly, as evidenced by the powers of crappy art above: I was not a smart, loving and thoughtful girlfriend. I was an idiot. 

And you figured I have learned my lesson in the last one year, right? RIGHT? Wrong. 

Guess what I bought DK this year? (read: idiot)

For the love of tradition and keeping it alive, where our grandchildren will BATTLE over who remembered DK's (now grandpa's) birthday first, people, like there will be name-calling and hair-pulling, but then the whole thing will prove to be for naught when some poor great-great-grandchild forgets, DK The Great's birthday, and his mother will sob and to save skull from being used as a soup bowl, the child will have to seek THERAPY, because WAY TO RUIN FAMILY TRADITION, JUNIOR, and yes.

Happy birthday, my love.