MULI

A few months ago, my classmates and I went over for a small, intimate, us-only welcome-back-to juja party at the Senate, because lectures had not began, and why throw a perfectly good intimate dinner party at your own house, when your local club is just, like, EMPTY AND ABANDONED because students are not in town, and it's also equipped with such wonders as (a) a swimming pool, and (b) a wine cellar? And you are equipped with (c) great company? WHY WOULD YOU NOT ENTERTAIN THERE EVERY DAY? So off we went.

At one point during the evening, we were all talking about Serious Things, when Muli all of a sudden turned very red and started stammering, and looked at my best pal, Anne, and she was like, Dude, YOU deal with it. So he was the one who had to tell me that my boob had just FALLEN OUT of my otherwise cute sundress, and I had been sitting there discussing THE WANJIRU SAGA as my nipple, filled with childlike wonder, took in the various sights, sounds and music of the Senate backyard. Hello, world! FEEL THAT BREEZE?

But anyway. Despite my exposed nipplage, we had an awesome time, because it was fun to hang out with them. And we hadn't seen each other in a long time, because Muli had been on attachment, and Anne had been busy setting up her new house. And so we had super big fun, even though Ngeshi didn't much have a bathing suit, and the only store that was open was Mushatha, and the only thing they had was pieces of Bathing Suits, in various non-Ngeshi sizes, and so she ended up buying one bottom and one top that did not match, NOR did they fit, and she looked kind of like Fat Joe except with boobs. Finally she just gave the heck up and hopped into the pool wearing a dress, already.

And, I was like OH NO on the pool/water thing, because it is six in the evening and I am tired and a wuss, and ALSO, IT IS COLD, Y'ALL. I tentatively put my toe in the water, and made little shrieky sounds, and backed away. Until Muli saw me, and this strange, dangeorous light came into his eyes, and before I knew it, he had PICKED MY ASS UP and was holding me over the deep end of the pool in a terrible, suspense-filled drama the likes of which I WILL NOT EVEN GO INTO, but FEAR and TERROR filled my heart, and I started pleading like he was about to toss me into a pit of VIPERS, PEOPLE.

So I engaged in negotiation.

Self:  Muli. I was just about to buy you beer. Please do not throw me into the pool.
Muli: YOU ARE GOING IN.
Self: I will give you shiny things. I am sorry I tried to make you eat a strawberry icecream. I now know how you feel about cold food and how you believe that ice creams are like insects of the marine world. Please accept my deepest apologies and remember that I also contributed to the nyamchom you just ate. And those lovely potatoes.

Muli: INTO. THE WATER.
Self: I will buy you cars and diamonds. Please do not make me wet in such a manner that I will have to go find a hairdryer before I can go to bed. You have short militaryish hair, and I have many long lock things. They do not like the wet, Muli. They will turn on you.
Muli: I AM NOT SCARED OF YOUR HAIR.
Self: But, see, my boyfriend is scared of my hair, and is scared that if you anger the hair, the hair will attack him in his sleep, slowly wrapping around his throat and throttling all of the sweet breath from his body.
Muli: Wait, is this the best you can do?  I thought you always wanted to be a lawyer? You suck at arguing.
Self: Well. I am kind of freaking out right now.
Muli: And for good reason, because IN YOU GO.
And he threw my ass in. At which point, while underwater, I decided to put him in the HAUNTED FRIEND List, OH I WILL SHOW YOU, YOU THROWER-INNER. 

After emerging, shivering and pathetic from the pool, I wrapped myself up in a very unattractive shawl and tried to comfort my hair before it went on an attack directed towards my drunk friends. And then we came inside drank wine, and ordered more barbecued meat because SOMETHING IS CLEARLY WRONG WITH US, but man, it was good.

Three weeks ago, Muli died in hospital. I don't know any of the details, am still trying to wrap my thoughts around it,  I only know that he is gone, and that Anne called me so I wouldn't have to see the messages on his facebook wall.

I am so sorry. I am so sorry for his family, and for his parents, and for all of his many friends, who knew him for years longer than I. I feel like this tragedy is not mine; it is theirs, but I am heartbroken for them. I am heartbroken for everyone. Muli was the ONLY PERSON in our year who graduated with a first class honors because he was brilliant and he deserved it.

There is a tremendous care package for Muli still sitting in my heart right now. It's just...sitting there. It all seems unreal. I don't even know what to do.

And, this is exactly the sort of thing I would not usually write about, because this website is supposed to be lighthearted and funny. But the thing is, all of my times with Muli were lighthearted and funny.  Muli always made me smile.

And it seemed, somehow, that maybe the best tribute I could pay would be to tell all of y'all about this funny, mischievous, incredibly brilliant guy who threw me into a pool a few months ago, who hated icecream with a passion, and who loved his friends with all of his heart. Who never got to be a husband, and who never got to be a daddy. Who never made it to his dreams.

He is gone, and he will be missed.