To Ensure Perfect Aim, Shoot First and Call Whatever You Hit the Target

That will save you so much disappointment. Trust me. And thinking of disappointments, I have been getting almost everyone's share these past few days. Like would you believe these people who travel to spots along Thika Road? They happen to be more than China's whole population. And the transport means is never enough. You have to fight your way on board. Am actually planning on writing the Ministry of Transport a thank you note  for the high capacity Bus thought. That is a brilliant idea.And these large fonts look....LARGE...am so loving them!

So, where were we? 

Yeah, those people who live alongside the Super-Highway. I'm in this mix, and that is Super-Awesome if you live here. We have watched the baby road grow to this enormously amazing six-lane but trust me, not everyone living there is as amazing as the dark alley at Pangani. Some are monsters. Tiny dark monsters. They actually have black hearts and rat-looking brown teeth. Well, i think they do.

Because some of these not-so-amazing people STOLE my wallet. They planned it the minute they saw me at the bus-stop. Because thanks to my under-paying boss, I have not earned and saved enough to buy a CAR. I actually envy those peeps who have jobs that cater for all their needs. And a boss who will understand that I NEED a day off on Valentines day, Women's Day, All Mondays and on my BIRTHDAY. 

Those are very important days.And clients should understand that, too. Potential employers: please, stop reading this.

So, yesterday, I carried work home because, I am over-worked we have an important project that requires special attention, and these rat-teethed not-so-amazing people (who need to do their RESEARCH well!), started sending pinching signals to their "colleagues" when they saw my bulged handbag. I can only imagine what was going on in their small brains, the stupidest of them all thinking, "mmh, she must have taken a loan to buy a jet". And very fertile imagination. Like that of a dude who would kick a beehive full of bees to show he's got balls.

That's why they didn't let him open my handbag. I would have caught him and probably fed him my stilettos. He is needed in the group for the physique. Yeah, he's the strongest and deals with the "stubborn clients" so they chose the rather cleverer one who has seen his Class Seven end-of-year exam paper. Brilliant thinking. He brought all the experience I thought I had with the not-so-amazing people to a constant zero.


So, everyone at work is asking, "hey, why are you so quiet today?" and am almost saying, "dude, you really can't plan a killing spree out loud." Because y'all, I have not an Identity Card, nor a Credit Card, and am missing a few brown notes. AND because, how do these rat-teethed peeps sleep at night, knowing I now can't keep up with the City Askaris and the emerging Money Transfer technology? 


I would definitely feed them my stilettos. Or I would shoot at them, aiming at the 'brains' and if I fail, I will call whatever I hit my target. Am not teaching you violence peeps, I, too, do not believe in it. Let's now thank these unkind gentlemen for leaving my diary and phone exactly at the same spot I placed them. 


Should I send them thank you notes, too? Oh, no. They can go to hell because they are perfectly good at all they do. All they do is make people hate them. I hope you hate them as much as I do. And I more strongly hope they know how much we depreciate them.


Clutch your bags closer to the heart peeps! Brown-rat-teethed thickos love crowded bus-stops...