Hidden Scars in the Haven

My father left a ‘like comment’ on a spiritual post I wrote on Facebook a few updates ago and as much as I totally appreciate he’s pleased  I have a part of me connected to the Most High, this is very disturbing because - God bless his eyes - that is the first I love God update I’ve had in almost two years.

Please don’t go away yet, this post isn’t about my dad; I’ve written enough about him here already. Am not even sure what it’s about yet, could even be about you. Ok, definitely not.

So three weekends ago, I traveled out of town with my brothers because we’re awesome siblings who fight all the time about the pettiest of everything; like this time I asked Vickie to get an insect out of my eye (ow, ow) and he looked me in the face and said, that is just a mosquito, lemmi finish writing this text message. That is to say I can hold my crying eyelids apart for three minutes because the text message CANNOT wait. And I went on screaming at him about how unbelievable he was and how he hates me because am the middle child and he kept on pressing the noisy keypads until we heard my mum’s footsteps on the doorway. On turning to look, she was miraculously safe in her bedroom. I think she hates middle kids too.

So, I booked a seat next to the window on the second row in the matatu for the journey since apparently each of my two brothers and I wanted the window view and we could not compromise so we ended up seated in a straight line-up occupying all the window seats on the left side.

Next to me sat this courteous English-speaking, grey-haired man, who’s one of those people who get into a public vehicle, say a general ‘hello’ and take no offense when my snobby little brother gives him a blank stare. I said hello back because I’ve been brought up better than my siblings and am sure that’s why he chose to sit next to me – wrong decision miss courtesy.

You would think his courteous self would stop at the greetings but oh boy, he does little chit chat too. ‘’’It’s so hot here, thank you for opening the window’’ I didn’t know how to reply to that conversation-opener so I gave him a shy smile which on normal occasions means the conversation is over.

‘’How long have you been waiting?’’ He had round spectacles that were loosely hanging on the tip of his nose widening his nostrils, and the plastic frames wholly covering his oily cheeks. “Seven minutes” I replied not looking in his direction as I tried to concentrate on a city council askari clump a parked motorcycle.

Thirty minutes into the four-hour journey, my aged neighbor started dozing off, swaying his head in my direction and resting it on my shoulder. For ten seconds I tried to act calm because if my grandpa were alive, he would be age mates with my sag-faced travel buddy. And I would hate to see some teenybopper deny him such comfort. But see, it could only go so far. The guy decided to get comfy so he slid lower in his seat such that my purple top was getting a share of whatever jelly he had on his face and hair. Then I looked behind me and my brothers were smiling sheepishly. No mister.

I pretended to be reaching for something from my shoes so I could get him to change his position and he woke up, pulled back his glasses that were now resting on his moustache and spent the next fifteen minutes apologizing before he dozed off again. I had to give up and live with my brothers' lampoonery for the rest of my life.

So, we got home and visited our favorite golden-aged neighbor who gets all teary when she sees us with all the goodies we bring her and after spitting in our palms and chanting things like 'may you never lack' and our all time cherished, 'may you always find them on your way', she decided to sing us the traditional songs that we didn't get a chance to listen to in our time. How sweet.

We kept a record of the video (I know, right?) but my browser is experiencing some lady issues so I'll update that later....go senior! 

And when we went back home, we stumbled over something that was at least fifteen years old and we laughed for what we thought was eternity. Remember when this is what you read in school?

Seriously, someone in Mr. Kamau's family could think the cow is going on to the bus?

Standing on my Soap Box

2013! Wow, November’s almost here and who knew we could live so fast in a year than it feels to spend 24hours on a Monday in mid-August? I think sometime just before third day of January, someone hit the fast-forward button on my life. Everything has been flying by so fast.

Anyway, the year started with a huge blessing for me. I received a little promotion a few months ago, Manager Position, pay increase, good stuff. And though this means I impressed my boss enough to go from working eight hours to twelve hours a day, am glad it came in a smiling envelope. 

So, one of my friends on his “Congratulations on your new position” card wrote and I quote: You keep standing out wherever you go, don’t you girl?

This got me thinking and I tried to analyze me and get a few reasons why on both companies I’ve worked for, I get a promotion in six months. I don't think of it as a coincidence. Per se. I categorized my analysis into five satisfactory reasons and thought it might help to share on my blog for that person looking for ways to stand out in his company, to get that promotion or an increase in salary.

Here’s my recipe in five bullets:

1. Remember Who Your Boss Is.

Don’t always be in the wrong page of the book with your boss. One of the laws in the proven 48 Laws of Power (can’t remember which) states that you need to know who you’re dealing with and that you should never offend the wrong person (I’m paraphrasing).

This does not equate to being a kiss-ass but if you want to get ahead at work (and I’m sure you do), you need to ‘impress’ your boss. You have to give him/her a reason to pick you from the team and not your colleague during performance appraisal. Respect your boss at all times.

2.     Work.

I do not do my colleagues’ work for them, I don’t always volunteer to work overtime or weekends and I’m not a workaholic. But one thing for sure, when I’m at work, I work. I do not walk around the office gossiping, I do not spend all my time on Facebook and Twitter and I’ll not chat thirty minutes on phone with my friends. 

Finish your task before the deadline and exceed your company standards in terms of value and quality of your output.

In most cases, you’ll find that you are worth waaay more than your employer pays you. Way more. And most probably, your boss knows this. The least you can do is prove to him/her that your actual value is more than what you’re employed to do.  Take the ‘free time’ you have to work on ways to improve a certain aspect of your job. Think like a CEO.

3.     Bitch Vertically.

We don’t have to have something to beef about all the time (we actually shouldn’t) and if you can help being 100% satisfied with your policies, good for ya, but at some point, we’re all faced with situations where something isn’t being done right at our place of work and we might oftentimes, feel the urge to complain about it to other co-workers. It doesn’t help.

Whining about it every waking day with your colleagues will only make you angry at the system and usually, less motivated to work. Complain about it to the person above you, someone who’s in a position to make a difference. Be genuinely interested in helping see to it that things are running smoothly. Not only will it make you look mature, it’ll also earn you a solution in lesser time and enhance your leadership qualities.

4.     Master your Role.

Become an expert at what you do. Ask questions. You’ll stand out if you’re collected enough to ask for clarity instead of doing things wrongly and putting yourself in a big mess. Gives your boss the impression that you want to do it right the first time.

You do not have to know everything to lead your team, but you’ve got to be confident enough to teach others how to do it. Be the person that people come to for help when they’re in a fix. 

5.     Be Diplomatic.

This is probably not a great way to stand out but I had to chip it in since it’s a practice I observe and it makes my working days happy days. You can’t possibly please everyone but you shouldn’t go out of your way to annoy your colleagues. I make friends with my co-workers. It’ll most likely not entirely get you a promotion but at the end of the day, you spend the better part of your earning-life at work. Make it worth the while. 

There you have it folks. Go make the best of it and your boss will soon realize you’re an asset they cannot afford to lose and they will compensate you accordingly! And better still, you won't have to do this:

(See how I totally ignored the fact that I've been silent for over five months? I'm like the ignorance captain)